Life

Hello my people. Its me, Kayla. Stuff keeps happening to me. Changes and talks about growing up. Here's a news flash, I kinda don't want to grow up. Its a little immature to be acting like a 5 year in a 17 year old's body. I'm immature, hyper, and a little weird. You might even call me crazy. But that where I draw the line. I will NOT be sent to a mental institution. I am NOT crazy or a bit messed up in the head. I just happened to want to hold onto my childhood a bit longer then maybe other want too. I'm turning 18 in a few months and this is the third time my parents have had this speech with me. I get it and I would scream it to the world if I didn't want to be stared at like I'm mental. I get it already, I need to step up my act and be my age. To me that means turning boring. Maybe I've been playing the ADHD card a little too long. I know I have control over this, I know I don't need meds to help me wake up in the morning, thats because Normal, sane people can do that everyday and thats just what I am, normal and sane. Maybe I hide behind this act because if I didn't, I don't think I would ever be noticed. Maybe its my way of trying to be noticed, I mean it works on the internet. I'm the loud, annoying, wannabe chick next door. I talk too much, too fast, and I mumble. You can barely get a word in edge wise and I monopolise the conversation. Thats just who I am but I'm trying to change that if I ever want to get a job interview. This makes me think I need to change who I am, but then I realize that my family need to love whoever I am, I might just have to make a few adjustments if I still want to be living here when I'm 18. And I do get babied but I am scared of the dark and I will not go out in it, even if you pay me. If my parents would realize that I get the message, throw out the past and step into the future. My barbies and most of my stuff animals are going into storage. I'm attached to them, but I can get rid of old school work finally. And now the 1D song "Act my Age" came on and makes this whole "speech" feel like a joke. I have cried so much this week. I had an actual teenage argument with my mom today. It made me feel like I was finally fitting into big girl shoes. I don't know, should I run with this or stay and hide??? Also might have been crying while writing this and this happened to happen because I broke my phone even more. It already had a cracked screen which I pick the glass out of and I scratch the phone part when doing this last.



-KC Signing off xx